Recently I did a wedding for a couple here at City On A Hill. The Groom had been with us for many years but we first got to know the Bride to be when she began attending with him. We immediately fell in love with her.
You have to know that this guy is a cut up! About two weeks before the wedding I received a message on my phone with a picture of the two of them in front of the courthouse holding a copy of the marriage license. He included the message, “This should make it legal for us to at least go to third base!” I messaged back. “Don’t even go to the ballpark!!”
So a couple weeks later, when the ceremony was over and the bride and groom had gone out into the foyer I told that story to the congregation. Of course, everyone laughed. Then I announced the reception which the bride and groom had arranged to be a very simple, and short event. Then I said, “I don’t know why they want this thing to be over so fast. I have no idea where they are in such a hurry to get to. I guess they are going to the Ballpark! That really brought the house down. That evening he posted on the City On A Hill Facebook page. Bases loaded. Runner on third!!
We have all had a good time telling the story and laughing about it together. And even though we laughed, we all recognized that it really is about a very serious subject. Why wait until marriage to have sex?
It seems that our secular culture has gone so far beyond that concept that to most people today it sounds ridiculous to even suggest abstinence before marriage. They say things like, “Well you don’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on do you?” Recently, I came across a quote from a young woman who said, “How can you ever know if you could last with a man if you haven’t had sex with him? I mean sex is such a huge part of the relationship.” On and on the rationalizations and justifications go.
So let me mention just a couple of very good reasons to save sex for the life-long commitment of marriage.
1. Because it is how God says it should be done.
Now that should be enough for a Christ follower right there. The Bible has a word for sex outside the boundaries of marriage. Fornication. In Scripture it is never presented in a positive light but is always something that distorts the purpose of God for the sexual act.
2. It reduces the chances of satisfaction in a later marriage.
Contrary to what the girl said about not knowing if you could live happily with the other person if you didn’t have sex with him before, all of the good research reveals exactly the opposite! Couples who live together before marriage consistently report less happiness and satisfaction in their marriage than couples that didn’t live together before marriage.
In fact Dr. Laura Schlessinger in her book Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, includes living with a man before marriage as one of the top ten!
The divorce rate among couples who lived together before marriage compared to those who didn’t live together is higher. You just don’t do yourself any favors by putting the cart before the horse and doing it your way rather than God’s way.
3. The Risks of Sexually Transmitted Disease.
In our day and time this is a very big issue. STD’s are at an all-time high and they are increasingly resistant to treatment. I remember the story of a boy who asked his Grandfather what he had used back in his day to protect against STD’s. The Granddad held up his ring finger and replied, “A wedding band.” Not bad advice from a wise man.
Well there it is. Wait till you get married then go to the ball park, load up the bases, step up to the plate and hit a Grand Slam! As you trot about the diamond, sing to yourself that grand old song, “Take Me Out To the Ball-Game!” You’ll enjoy your experience at the park much more.